moving forward.

I am still amazed that when plans fail and things go wrong again and again, the feelings that you share for one another don't fade.

Kyle came up for a short weekend, and despite all our attempts to have a perfect weekend, there was little that actually went our way. What happened?

1. IU lost to Michigan after an amazing game. While we both fell asleep for part of the game, us hardworking student teachers, we were just as devastated by the loss. After having such a successful run, one bad call sealed their fate. Our hearts both dropped knowing how much accreditation IU might have received if they had been able to pull out victorious from the Big House.

2. The Melting Pot proved too popular a place at 8:00 pm. We had been looking forward all day to the dessert we planned on getting at the Melting Pot after our food finally settled from the tremendous homemade dinner, thanks to Mama Olson. When we finally felt there was enough room in our stomachs for a dessert we have both come to LOVE, the wait was just too long. 2 hours? Really? What did we do instead? Settled for Chili's and went home even more full than we expected.

3. Kyle having to leave after being here just one day. It's so hard driving the 3 or so hours and only being able to stay a day, but what makes it even harder is wondering how long it will be until the next visit.

What could have been a horrible weekend, turned out to be a weekend of laughter and time simply spent being together.

Life is busy and complicated, but above all else, it goes on. I find it more and more difficult to say bye to him, but then I realize that it's because my love continues to grow and we continue on the path towards our future.

For all those discouraged hearts out there, I say this: pick up your things and move forward. There is no reason to stay where you are and wonder which path to take. Trust yourself and find the courage to move in the direction you think best fits your goals and passions. Don't distrust the decisions you've made up until this point, but look to them as guidance and experience for what lies ahead.

While life is better experienced with others, know that you, too, have the ability and strength to define for yourself a path of your own. While I love Kyle and hope to continue along this path together, I know that I must have my own footprints to leave behind. We can hold one another's hands through life, but we cannot always rely on the other to carry us. Our individual strength is what makes our relationship strong.

goosebumps.

There are certain inescapable emotions that arise for me in situations, that I have come to find, happen regardless of age, situation, and circumstance.

Tonight I found myself at the infamous and unforgettable high school homecoming football game. You know the one, the one where everyone is crossing their fingers for a win. The one where boys have their chests painted and sweatbands properly placed to demonstrate school spirit. The one where the halftime show includes the big announcement of homecoming royalty. The one where the desire to defeat the opponent outshines other, more insignificant motives.

While all of those things still resonate in my memories as if it were yesterday, I found myself unsure of how to play the part of this new title I carry: teacher. I caught myself saying "hi" to students and then realizing they don't necessarily want to talk to me. It was quite different than the homecoming games I am use to.

However, the excitement of seeing those Friday night lights as I pulled into the parking lot still got me. There is just something about a Friday night football game that screams high school, but not just high school, the best of high school. I got goosebumps sitting in those bleachers watching the students cheering on their team, and many of my students run up and down that field. There is that energy that you can find in very few places, and it just shocks me that those feelings never seem to fade.

I guess I can understand now, how Kyle can still find himself so emotionally attached to the game of football. I find myself emotionally attached, and I didn't even play. Maybe it's the lights, maybe it's the community, maybe it's the spirit, but we know there is something about football that renders those experiences priceless.

dinosaur.

It boggles my mind when I hear about the things that kids do these days. Does that make me sound old? I feel old saying it, but I am still amazed when I hear the stuff that pours out of these high schoolers' mouths. No wonder parents are paranoid.

There's one thing that, above all others, surprises and saddens me, and that's the flippant attitude of, not just high schoolers, but the general population towards sex.

The multifaceted communication phenomena provided, so graciously, by the educational field has unfortunately opened my eyes to the general disregard for the meaning behind the act.

With the growing creation and popularity of more and more Gossip Girl copycat websites, the high school generation is confused. They are beginning to honestly believe that what they see on television, in the movies, in magazines, is what real life is. You and I know it's not, but the ignorance and sense of invincibility encompassing the high school experience, only invokes in them a desire to breathe life into these ridiculous ideas of "reality", sex included.

You wouldn't believe me if I told you the stories I hear about what kids do in high school locker rooms, bathrooms, and even classrooms during the school day. I think back to my high school experience and I remember hearing about who had sex with who, but the general attitude and regard for sex was not so light a subject as it is now.

This shock is rooted in an exchange that took place in my classroom this past week. We were watching a movie, Roxanne, that is based on the play we had just finished reading in class. There is a scene in the movie, when the main female character invites her love interest into her house. One of the many immature students in the class asked, "Are they having sex?!". This, however, was not what surprised me, but the response by one of the girls in the class was. She stated blatantly, "Well she loves him, so of course they are having sex."

Normally I wouldn't have necessarily regarded this with any more attention than any other smart remark in the classroom, but the genuinely serious tone in which she provided such a statement caused me to step back and wonder where and when this notion was planted. Love equals sex. I am still completely floored that this association and acceptance of such a notion has become normal and ordinary.

Maybe it's me, maybe I'm a dinosaur, unable to understand and accept the new and "improved" moral code of humanity. But something in me, tells me that this code is shit.

Holding hands use to be the topic of gossip. Now I see kids in their high school hallways making out, and boys with their hands on the butts of young girls. Is it too much to wish that an act like holding hands is affectionate enough? I think maybe it is.

Sex has taken ahold of every mode of communication and leisure in our society. Did they not think it would completely change the dynamic of every relationship, especially the young ones? They had to know, they had to understand that the teenagers were the ones to sell it to. Why else would shows like Gossip Girl, 90210, One Tree Hill, Melrose Place, and others, have been produced and marketed for such an audience?

We are changing, that's for sure. I'm just surprised at how much we've changed in my lifetime alone, and it scares me to think what might happen in the next 22 years.

tales of a teacher.

Things that I have had the pleasure of dealing with this week:

1. Students caught cheating. Unfortunately it's true. I was grading reading quizzes and found that two of my students had identical, and by identical i mean word for word, short answers.

2. My very first call from a concerned parent. I understand parents freaking out when taking their first look at their kids' grades, but take the time to talk to your kid and discuss the issue before automatically turning it around on the teacher.

3. Was told to "calm down" by one of my students. Hahaha I still laugh when I think about this one. I am convinced he was just embarrassed that I was calling him out in front of the entire class, but trust me when I say, he deserved it.

4. Had to pull a student into the hall to discuss why it is inappropriate to raise his hand every 5 seconds to ask if he could use the bathroom. No, I am not exaggerating.

5. Had a random student come into my class (during a break) and yell to one of my students, "so where's this hot teacher of yours?" I simply pretended I didn't hear and tried to keep my face from turning red.

I am sure there is much to come, but for entertainment's sake, I'll share bits and pieces when I can.